Okay so yesterday was one of the worst ED days..ever. But I now have PROOF that it doesnt have to define the rest of time. Today was a GREAT day, one of the best I’ve had in awhile in many respects. I had an appointment with my dietician, and we got lunch and ate it together, talking about ourselves and just being normal and having fun. It was awesome and she said she had a wonderful time being with me..which nobody ever does ever. Then I went to my old high school to pick up my transcript and say goodbye to my favorite teachers. My english teacher told me she was so happy I’m going to college early and I didnt need high school anyway. Then, I had therapy late afternoon/evening and we talked about some really really important things that have been happening. I always always feel better after talking to her. I get a little too attached to be honest, this happens a lot with women in my life where I just want her to be my mom and take care of me forever. But I’m balancing it. Balance seems to be the key word right now. 

Tomorrow I have an INTERVIEW for an internship at a local hospital. I’m so nervous!! I also have SATs saturday and my first work meeting for lifeguarding this weekend.

Another big deal.. I made plans with a friend for this weekend. You dont understand..I havent seen any friends or even really had any.. in an embarassingly long time. But I am driving 2 hours to her house and we’re going to Hersheypark. I am FREAKING out anxious, keep trying to cancel..but im gonna force myself to do it. If you dont have social issues..try to understand..this is one of the hardest barriers to overcome. When you literally have no friends or any life outside of depression and anorexia..you almost give up and lose the skills to try. But I’m going to experiment and see what happens. Ugh big post..my apologies. But a lot is going down these next few days!